Is it just me, or are there more people in the world who are sick and tired of black people blaming everything on racism? And just about anything that happens that includes both a white, and a black person, the black guy is hard done by. Don't believe me, check this article out... at least the writer has some common sense.
But seriously...if a black guy shoots another black guy...that seems to be okay. As long as both parties are black. But if a T.V show is made without an equal number of blacks and whites... HOLY CRAP! Get out the way...an uprising has started!
Now in my lifetime i have yet to witness a "hate against blacks" crime. I understand that is still does happen especially in the southern states and such...but come on, it seems like more black people hate whites than vice versa.
And what the heck is wrong with Network T.V. it's ok to have a show with only black main characters, but not ok with only whites? Maybe I as a white male should start writing letters. maybe I should start an accociation for white people. We'll write letters and complain to everyone who we think might be "oppressing" us.
What is wrong with people? There should be a new rule. Ask Rob before doing anything stupid. I'd set you straight.
I perhaps i need to appoligize to the black people for saying "black" instead of "african american" in this blog. But then again...maybe you should check your life out!
-Chuck Out
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
the late great
I was thinking yesterday about some of the great comedians that i enjoy listening to. Sure, obviously jerry sienfeld is there. I also don't mind dane cook now and then, and even some redneck humour with the blue collar guys is good.
But when i think of some really original, "different" comedy, i think of one name. The late great Mitch Hedberg.
I'd like to share a few of mitch's jokes in my blog today. For those of you who haven't ever heard mitch, let me explain a few things. Mitch does not do a nice flowing comedy show. He only gets on stage and does one-liners, none of which flows to the next. And you have to understand that mitch is almost always baked during his show. His speach is slow and slurred, and he can hardly stand.
Ok here are a few of my favorites from mitch. (they are cleaned up for content as i miantain a pg rating on this blog...until i decide otherwise)
-I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
-An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an
Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
-Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.
-Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
-I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
-I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
-I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
-I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
-I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.
-I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
-I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
- was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
-I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
-I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
-I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
-If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
-It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Thanks Mitch
But when i think of some really original, "different" comedy, i think of one name. The late great Mitch Hedberg.
I'd like to share a few of mitch's jokes in my blog today. For those of you who haven't ever heard mitch, let me explain a few things. Mitch does not do a nice flowing comedy show. He only gets on stage and does one-liners, none of which flows to the next. And you have to understand that mitch is almost always baked during his show. His speach is slow and slurred, and he can hardly stand.
Ok here are a few of my favorites from mitch. (they are cleaned up for content as i miantain a pg rating on this blog...until i decide otherwise)
-I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
-An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an
Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
-Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.
-Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
-I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
-I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
-I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
-I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
-I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.
-I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
-I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
- was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
-I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
-I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
-I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
-If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
-It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Thanks Mitch
Monday, March 3, 2008
a short story and terrorists
Ok, today for your reading pleasure, i will tell you a story about a man named...well, let's call him wayne...because after all, that is his real name.
I met wayne a few weeks ago. He came into the shop, and was looking for a bearing. Now the first thing you notice about this guy is that he talks with a very low voice, and mumbles constantly. It's sounds like if you tried to talk with your teeth clenched. So wayne earned himself the nickname "the mumbler".
Now, we all know that i'm not one to jump to conclusions...ahem..but, call me crazy but within 2 minutes of meeting the mumbler, i pegged him to be a trekkie. I actually thought in my head " i bet this guy loves to try to figure out trig functions for the proton ion flux capacitor used in season 3 episode 4"
Anyway, to make a long awsome story short and boring...the mumbler was in on friday, and loves star treck. Has thick books on star trek.
what can i say, I have a gift.
Speaking of racial profiling, here's a question for you.
Your a border guard between canada and the us. A car drives up to your station. The car is being driven by a muslum man, late 30's, wearing the white robe type thing, long beard, heavy accent, and a turban.
Ok, now here's the question:
Do you grill this guy more than a 80 year old white woman?
I will answer that quesion in my next blog.
I met wayne a few weeks ago. He came into the shop, and was looking for a bearing. Now the first thing you notice about this guy is that he talks with a very low voice, and mumbles constantly. It's sounds like if you tried to talk with your teeth clenched. So wayne earned himself the nickname "the mumbler".
Now, we all know that i'm not one to jump to conclusions...ahem..but, call me crazy but within 2 minutes of meeting the mumbler, i pegged him to be a trekkie. I actually thought in my head " i bet this guy loves to try to figure out trig functions for the proton ion flux capacitor used in season 3 episode 4"
Anyway, to make a long awsome story short and boring...the mumbler was in on friday, and loves star treck. Has thick books on star trek.
what can i say, I have a gift.
Speaking of racial profiling, here's a question for you.
Your a border guard between canada and the us. A car drives up to your station. The car is being driven by a muslum man, late 30's, wearing the white robe type thing, long beard, heavy accent, and a turban.
Ok, now here's the question:
Do you grill this guy more than a 80 year old white woman?
I will answer that quesion in my next blog.
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