Phew!

Well, lucky for you, we've dodged a bullet. The world didn't blow up, or get sucked into a black hole (at least not yet) and i'm still here for your reading enjoyment.

But alas, I do have some bad news...My beloved detroit lions are 0-2. And they are dragging me down in my football pool because i refuse to pick against them. But there is a silver lining...they play the 49ers next week! So i'm hoping for the best.

In other news...i'm back working on my basement again. Bought a shower yesterday, and i'm hoping to do some more drywall on thursday evening. If there is anyone out there who wants to finish my basement for free...or even for large amounts of doodles please let me know!

That's all the news i have today

-chuck out

speed of light?

Some of you may or may not be aware of the fact that there has been much talk recently of a large hadron collider, and particle accelerators. The reason for all this buzz is that underground the switzeralnd border this "large hadron collider or "LHC"" has been built, and the first trial run is to happen tommorow. This machine is massive...like 17 kms long.

My fist question is probably the same as yours..."what the heck is it?" Well, due to my limmited grasp of intense physics, my lack of adequite reserch, and general stupidity, i am unable to really explain it. But hey, when has that ever stopped me from trying...here goes...


To put this in terms that even i can understand...basically this huge "LHC" will be able to produce super intense energy beams...then smash them together. Something like taking bullet trains at 500mph, and smashing them together...only without using the trains...confusing right? this is only the beggining.

Ever heard of the elusive "higgs boston" or even what they call a "standard model" yeah, me neither... but let me cut to the chase...

Scientists are trying to predict what exactly will happen when they fire this baby up. The majority of people are anticipating tiny tiny black holes that are so unstable they will vanish almost instantly. Black holes? sounds crazy right? Not nearly as crazy as what some scientists are predicting.

Here's the list of different predictions..all from well respected scientists...not from crazy preople: (keep in mind i'm putting them is terms i can understand...they use bigger words)

- these "tiny black holes" will not be so unstable, and will grow and suck the planet into themselves...

- will rip open time and space as we know it exposing up to 11 or 12 dimentions on earth that were previously hidden

- we will see for the first time ever the building blocks of time travel.

There are more, but you get the idea. This is stuff out of a drugged up star trek movie.

Want to know what i think will happen...they'll fire up this machine...they'll collide their first energy beam, and the machine will wreck. Done. Billions and billions of dollars spent...just so they can destroy what they built.

Black holes...time travel...? look it up, i'm not kidding.

Just in case i'm wrong, and tommorow the earth will be sucked ito some black hole, and time travel will be enabled...better wear a lead vest like the ones they make your wear when you get x-rays...you never know what those beam things could do to your reproductive capability.

-chuck out

9-7 this season baby!

Sure, there are some exciting things in life...graduating from school, your wedding day, buying your first house, ect...

but nothing quite compares to something magical that happens every september... FOOTBALL SEASON!

I am a die hard fan, and the summer months can't leave quickley enough. In my opinion, you can't be a die hard fan unless you have a certain team you cheer for. Mine happens to be the Detroit lions. It has been a long summer, and I have passed the time by learning the ins and outs of the lions new "zone blocking run scheme", and their "tampa 2 defence".

Prediction lions go 9-7 and make the playoffs!

-chuck out

good night moon

Ok, so Julia left eary early this morning to go to manitoba...let me tell you about how this was the worst night.

It all began at around 11:00 when i went to bed, Julia had already basically fell asleep watching TV, and now it was my turn. So i shut the TV off and tried to go to sleep. As soon as i'm just about there, the cat jumps up on the bed, lays down by my feet, and starts licking itself...very loudly! So i boot her off the bed. Fricken cat. I eventually nodded off, and all was well in the dueckman household...

I woke up at 3:00 to the sound of licking again... i'm only half awake, and decide that this is only a dream...and i'm not really awake (wishfull thinking). Much to my displeasure as i fade back into consiousness, the licking gets louder. I open my eyes, and 2 feet from my face there is the cat, licking her crotch...only taking a break to look me straight in the eyes as if to say "what are you staring at?" So again i boot her to the floor, and she disapears into the darkness of the corner. Fricken cat.

Then the tossing and turning begins. I can't seem to get comfortable. No matter where i lay, the mattress seems to be jabbing me. I feel hot, and start to sweat, then all of a sudden cold again, then hot. I can't get comfortable. The digital clock on the night stand seems to be taunting me with it's unusally slow movment. So i decide to test it...when the clock hit 3:45, i started counting 1...2...3...4... i reach sixty just as 3:46 jumps onto the display. Blast! it knows what i'm trying to do...i'll have to be more discreet...perhaps i'll close one eye and try again...wait this isn't helping me sleep. None the less i play this game a few more times, along with more tossing and turning and sweating.

At 4:00 julia got up to go have a shower and eat breakfast and get ready to go to the airport. I lay in bed still trying to get comfortable. Finally i find the perfect spot...it's glorious...the bed seems to mold to my body perfectly...i can finally sleep. Julia is in the kitchen, and the light goes on...our bedroom door is open just the tiniest crack. The miniscule amount of light coming through that crack hits me directly in the eyes. Without the energy to speak, and certainly not to get up and close the door, i try to move my blissfull position just slightly. it won't work...i need to be in that exact spot. And so i am trapped in my own prison of uncomfort, and unrest.

finally julia comes in to say goodbye to me for the weekend, i peer through my half open bloodshot eyes to offer my attempt at a goodbye. Whether it made any scense at all is yet to be determined. With the lights now off, I sink into my comfort spot on the bed hoping now to get a couple hours of good sleep.

I nodd off for a couple minutes, and wake up to an awfull noise...it's sounds like it's coming from the cat, but it's a noise i've never heard before...so loud and distraught. Against my better judgment, i manage to get out of bed and stagger to find out what the heck is going on. Did the cat fall down the stairs? is it having a heart attack?, did it drive to the nearest kitchen surplus store, buy a garberator, turn it on, then get stuck in it? These thoughts run through my head as i search for the cause of this awfull noise. I make it to the top of the stairs, only to see a dimly lit cat staring at the door crying louder than i've ever heard. It must have seen julia leave, and wanted to go with her...well i don't blame it. I wouldn't want to be a cat anywhere near a half consious, very angry cat hater either.

I decide to take the high road...after all, my wife loves this cat, and i love my wife...so i didn't strangle it to death. Instead i pick it up and pet it...the crying stops, and the purring begins. Good, finally i can get back to sleep...

I get back to bed, only to find out that my comfort spot has disapeared...but i'm too tired for it to matter. I shut my eyes, but 5 minutes later...there's that dang cat going at it again. And so it continued five minutes on, 5 minutes off for the next 2 hours. I put a pillow over my head, but it does almost nothing to filter out that awful garberator like noise. fricken cat.

At 5:30, i abondon my chances of sleep, and turn the tv on hoping to find a simpsons rerun to drown out the cat. No luck...turns out even with 100 channels of cable...the only thing on is soap operas, and infomertials. So i at least try to find a good infomercial about the knives that can cut through shoes...no luck...only excersise machines, and face creams are on. I opt for one of the face creams, as thinking about excersice makes me want to throw up. I watch the entire thing...i'm not sure if i even blinked. Then watched one of the morning shows from 6-7. Then got up for work.

Worst sleep ever

-chuck out

Finally someone who isn't dumb

These are not my quotes, however i do agree and like each and every one of them. It points to how far from actual "rights" america (and canada right along with them) have strayed. I had this e-mailed to me, and thought it nessesary to post .


"I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see whathappens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door."

"Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game."

"I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is whythere are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOULISTENING MARTHA BURKE?"

"I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others becausethey are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability."

"I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes,a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter offact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English! My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours."

I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the above lines.

"I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loansor tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinketstore, or any other business. We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations."

"I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you fromwatching them."

"I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building."

"It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say 'NO!'"

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!"

"I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else."

"It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'InGod We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance.Why don't we just tell the 14% to BE QUIET!"

- andy rooney

-chuck out

coffee abuse

You ever been to Tim Hortons (or for my american fans dunkin donuts) and the guy in front of you order a large coffee triple triple? Sometimes i feel like taping the guy on the shoulder and suggesting he get a drink that he actually likes instead of feeling the need to alter coffee so much it doesn't even resemble the intended taste.

Now i will admit that I do put a little cream in my coffee. I can even respect people that get a regular (for my american fans that's one cream one sugar...not black). But come on people...if you don't like coffee without 18 sugar packets in it...perhaps you need to check your life out.

I'll admit that most of us started drinking coffee because we wanted to look mature and older, not because it tasted good. I know I did. But I took it like a man, and choked it down black until i enjoyed the taste. But if you're one of those people that never learned to like coffee the way it was made, but insist on still trying to modify it so you can drink it and look cool...you'd better just stop. I'm not impressed.

If i was going on a coffee run and you were like "hey chuck grab me a double double" I would get you a regular. And you'd be like "hey...this isn't a double double" and i'd be like "oh yeah...i left the extra cream and sugar at the store...right beside where you forgot your manhood."

And don't give me this crap about "but chuck...i actually like it that way!" Because you can kiss this piece of smoked hamm... Either learn to drink coffee the right way...or don't drink it at all!

Get off the TV

Does anyone actually watch the kentuky derby? I mean it's supposed to be this huge event that only movie stars and superstar athelets can aford tickets to. Apparently it a big deal.

Now don't get me wrong i really don't mind to watch horse racing. It's fine. I think it would be fun to go down to the windsor track and bet on a few races with some buddies. (don't worry mom, i only gamble with monopoly money). But is it absolutly nessisary to have 4 hours of televised pre-race cerimonies? Is anyone watching at home actually awake by the time the race starts? I highly doubt it.

I didn't watch this weekends kentuky derby. But i did see highlights of the race...I think most people did. Big brown won. Who's big brown you ask...well he's a horse...same as the horse who got last place, except faster. You know the one... If you didn't see the highlights, here's why this kentuky derby holds more weight than most. A horse died...no not human, a horse. Everyone calm down...just a horse.

A horse...after crossing the finish line collapsed with two broken ankles. It had to be put down.


Now there is a huge uprising in the "animal rights community". Mainly PETA is getting a whole bunch of media attention, and saying horse racing is really cruel, and they shouldn't be allowed to whip the horses, and running on dirt is too dangerous... and that the sport should be banned altogether. ect ect.

Do you remember when Dale Earnhart died in a nascar race? I do...and although there was some media attention focused on "car racing is dangerous" and "need more safety" ect. No one wanted to ban racing. Now why is a horses life more important than a persons? Why is PETA constantly getting more media attention?

Fricken people eh?