Ok, so Julia left eary early this morning to go to manitoba...let me tell you about how this was the worst night.
It all began at around 11:00 when i went to bed, Julia had already basically fell asleep watching TV, and now it was my turn. So i shut the TV off and tried to go to sleep. As soon as i'm just about there, the cat jumps up on the bed, lays down by my feet, and starts licking itself...very loudly! So i boot her off the bed. Fricken cat. I eventually nodded off, and all was well in the dueckman household...
I woke up at 3:00 to the sound of licking again... i'm only half awake, and decide that this is only a dream...and i'm not really awake (wishfull thinking). Much to my displeasure as i fade back into consiousness, the licking gets louder. I open my eyes, and 2 feet from my face there is the cat, licking her crotch...only taking a break to look me straight in the eyes as if to say "what are you staring at?" So again i boot her to the floor, and she disapears into the darkness of the corner. Fricken cat.
Then the tossing and turning begins. I can't seem to get comfortable. No matter where i lay, the mattress seems to be jabbing me. I feel hot, and start to sweat, then all of a sudden cold again, then hot. I can't get comfortable. The digital clock on the night stand seems to be taunting me with it's unusally slow movment. So i decide to test it...when the clock hit 3:45, i started counting 1...2...3...4... i reach sixty just as 3:46 jumps onto the display. Blast! it knows what i'm trying to do...i'll have to be more discreet...perhaps i'll close one eye and try again...wait this isn't helping me sleep. None the less i play this game a few more times, along with more tossing and turning and sweating.
At 4:00 julia got up to go have a shower and eat breakfast and get ready to go to the airport. I lay in bed still trying to get comfortable. Finally i find the perfect spot...it's glorious...the bed seems to mold to my body perfectly...i can finally sleep. Julia is in the kitchen, and the light goes on...our bedroom door is open just the tiniest crack. The miniscule amount of light coming through that crack hits me directly in the eyes. Without the energy to speak, and certainly not to get up and close the door, i try to move my blissfull position just slightly. it won't work...i need to be in that exact spot. And so i am trapped in my own prison of uncomfort, and unrest.
finally julia comes in to say goodbye to me for the weekend, i peer through my half open bloodshot eyes to offer my attempt at a goodbye. Whether it made any scense at all is yet to be determined. With the lights now off, I sink into my comfort spot on the bed hoping now to get a couple hours of good sleep.
I nodd off for a couple minutes, and wake up to an awfull noise...it's sounds like it's coming from the cat, but it's a noise i've never heard before...so loud and distraught. Against my better judgment, i manage to get out of bed and stagger to find out what the heck is going on. Did the cat fall down the stairs? is it having a heart attack?, did it drive to the nearest kitchen surplus store, buy a garberator, turn it on, then get stuck in it? These thoughts run through my head as i search for the cause of this awfull noise. I make it to the top of the stairs, only to see a dimly lit cat staring at the door crying louder than i've ever heard. It must have seen julia leave, and wanted to go with her...well i don't blame it. I wouldn't want to be a cat anywhere near a half consious, very angry cat hater either.
I decide to take the high road...after all, my wife loves this cat, and i love my wife...so i didn't strangle it to death. Instead i pick it up and pet it...the crying stops, and the purring begins. Good, finally i can get back to sleep...
I get back to bed, only to find out that my comfort spot has disapeared...but i'm too tired for it to matter. I shut my eyes, but 5 minutes later...there's that dang cat going at it again. And so it continued five minutes on, 5 minutes off for the next 2 hours. I put a pillow over my head, but it does almost nothing to filter out that awful garberator like noise. fricken cat.
At 5:30, i abondon my chances of sleep, and turn the tv on hoping to find a simpsons rerun to drown out the cat. No luck...turns out even with 100 channels of cable...the only thing on is soap operas, and infomertials. So i at least try to find a good infomercial about the knives that can cut through shoes...no luck...only excersise machines, and face creams are on. I opt for one of the face creams, as thinking about excersice makes me want to throw up. I watch the entire thing...i'm not sure if i even blinked. Then watched one of the morning shows from 6-7. Then got up for work.
Worst sleep ever
-chuck out
